Part of series of articles published in IMAX (monthly journal of IMA Rajkot) based on real life heart touching experiences-2014

This is again a true story from the same small town where I worked before about 10 years. There was a lady working as ayaben in the hospital. Let’s call her Manjuben.

Manjuben often used to come to hospital with swollen cheeks, hematomas on limbs and broken lips. On asking her the reason behind frequent injuries, she used to give vague answers. She smartly tried to put on a mask of false smile and illness on her face.  Gradually I came to realize the whole situation.

She was a widow with two children. The elder one was a daughter, who has studied up to fifth standard. The daughter was not able to study further in spite of her interest in studies and above average intelligence. She had to do house work of other families to pay the fees of younger brother.  Presently the daughter lived with her husband and children and worked part time in a factory.

Manjuben lived with her son. He was a much pampered child since childhood. As seen in most poor and uneducated families, mother’s extraordinary love for son has spoiled him. Even after many efforts and wastage of fair amount of money on tuitions, he said good bye to school as a ninth standard left out.

He worked for few years at different places, but obviously was expelled out from everywhere due to his insincerity and irregularity. Being workless and sitting alone at home, soon he befriended so called goons of the area. Manjuben’s bad days started from the day his son started consuming locally prepared alcohol (lattha). Soon it became a daily affair for him to come home drunk at night.

Most nights he fought with his mother demanding more money to drink. He hit her rudely whenever she denied him money or urged him to work for himself and stop drinking.   Manjuben struggled day and night; day to earn money to feed herself and the son who was like a curse to her and night to save her hard earned money from getting into the hands of her son and bearing his tortures.  Once the “mother India” of her family had become a pitiable woman left to mercy of God. Nobody; neither neighbors nor her relatives came to her rescue due to the fear of her son. Soon she lost all her hopes of future. She stopped living and was only surviving, throwing off the mask of false smile from her face. Many foodless and sleepless nights with tensions and tortures gifted by her only son took toil of her health.

Her son became so helpless without alcohol that he started borrowing money from other people. She had to approach people requesting them not to lend money to her son under any circumstances. She started working in night shift to repay the amount. The daily soap continued for many episodes during next eighteen months.  It met a sudden end with an unexpected and shocking climax. One day, in frustration, her son committed suicide at home while she was at work.

Her world came to a sudden standstill. After fifteen days she resumed her work. She felt the deep sorrow of losing her only son untimely and unnaturally. With time; the greatest healer, she accepted her fate and started living again. Behind the grief on her face, there was gradual appearance of peace; the peace of mind that she had lost since last eighteen months. It seemed now as if she was trying to put a mask of sorrow to hide the peace and freedom that she has derived after the death of her son!! Slowly she regained the charm and glow on her face.  Next six months reverted her age by six years!!!   What an irony that a mother starts living more happily after losing her son. Yes this was a fact evident to all staff in the hospital.

All of us would have observed such incidences in lower classes, where the man loses money, health and harmony of family in drinking. The female faces the embracement and violence but still fights against all odds to feed the family.

What the incident forced me to ponder was:

• Would any time in life, under any circumstances a daughter behave to her mother like the son had done?
• Had the daughter been given a chance to further education wouldn’t she have had a brighter future for herself and the two families?
• Wasn’t it the mothers fault in discriminating between son and daughter since childhood?
• Shouldn’t she have remained strict to her son the moment he started losing his way?
• Shouldn’t the mother have the guts to deny money to such a son or take the help of law to live a dignified life?
• And the last one: Wouldn’t the family have been in a happier situation without a son?

Dr Neema Sitapara

MD (Ped), PGDip. (Adolescent Pediatrics)